Bob Marley State of Mind

I've been listening to my large collection of reggae songs all day today, but the ones I played the most were Bob Marley songs. Not only do I love the musicality of reggae, but I love the positive messages that roots reggae has. Bob Marley is the king of that...in my eyes. When a lot of people think of Bob Marley, they think of a "pot head." He was much more than that, though. He was uneducated, yet was one of the most free-thinking people of our time. His messages are powerful and in a world full of evil he used his music to spread the word of resistance and positivity. Unfortunately, some people don't acknowledge this, and many more don't realize the purpose of his music. Lucky for me, I grew up with my parents listening to his music (I mean what Ethiopian or African doesn't listen to Bob Marley?? lol jk), so I understood his songs. These three songs below were ones that particularly mirrored what I was thinking or feeling today. Here are a few excerpts from the lyrics and what the songs mean, or what they represent to me.

Wake Up and Live!

Life is one big road with lots of signs,

So when you riding through the ruts,

Don't you complicate your mind.

Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy!

Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality, yeah!

Wake up and live, now

Wake up and live!

I love this song. It motivates me. To me it means to live your life, stay rooted in the present, make your dreams a reality, and not to let anything distract you from that.

Babylon System

We refuse to be 

What you wanted us to be

We are what we are

That's the way it's going to be, if you don't know

You can't educate I

For no equal opportunity

Talking about my freedom

People freedom and liberty

Yeah, we've been trodding on

The wine press much too long

Rebel. Rebel.

We've been trodding on the

Wine press much too long, Rebel.

Babylon System is the Vampire

Sucking the children day by day

Me say the Babylon System is the Vampire

Sucking the blood of sufferers

Building church and university

Deceiving the people continually

Me say them graduating thieves and murderers

Look out now

Sucking the blood of sufferers

This song is referring to the oppression in Jamaica, but it can apply to all the oppressors of the world and how we need to rebel against them.

War

Until the philosophy which holds one race

Superior and another inferior

Is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned

Everywhere is war, me say war

That until there are no longer first class

And second class citizens of any nation

Until the color of a man's skin

Is of no more significance than the color of his eyes

Me say War

That until the basic human rights are equally

Guaranteed to all, without regard to race

Dis a War

That until that day

The dream of lasting peace, world citizenship

Rule of international morality

Will remain in but a fleeting illusion

To be pursued, but never attained

Now everywhere is war, war

This is one of my favorites. The lyrics are derived from Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie's speech to the UN General Assembly in 1963. It's basically a cry for peace and equality among all regardless of any differences we may have.

Delving Into the Unknown

Just kidding. It's not unknown to me. As much as I may question things, I actually know a tidbit about this stuff because we grew up reading the Bible, and my father, who was a preacher for some time in the past, taught us a lot too. Anyway, I had quite a lengthy discussion with my father this morning about this article posted on CNN.com. It was an intriguing article, which generated an interesting conversation...and I also learned more things, which I always love. What was even more interesting (and entertaining) was all the comments readers made. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, I'm sure you'd have an opinion about the "prosperity gospel." My father and I have some points that we discussed, but for now check it out. I may post some things we discussed later. We'll see. :)

Was Jesus wealthy?

It's All About the Little Things...

For me, it's usually the little things in life that I find pleasure in. I realized this morning that one of my favorite things to do when I am home (in Nashville) is to wake up before anyone else, and go around our house and adjust ALL the blinds in the house so light comes in. We have individual vertical blinds that cover our 20+ windows that are about 3ft x 6ft (narrow and tall, I know...I like them), so every morning it takes about 5 minutes to do the job...and I really love those 5 minutes I get alone to myself. And of course, I love sunlight so seeing the house get more and more illuminated as I crack each blind just makes me happy! And now, that it's Christmas season, I love going around the house at night and turning on all the Christmas lights/candles, too! I hope to one day have a home with lots of windows...to let TONS of sunlight in!

Merry Christmas!

I See the Light!

For as long as I remember, I've always begged my mom to put up Christmas lights on the outside of our house. My mom, however, always thought it looked tacky and just put up those window candles (which we still have). This time though, she surprised me and my brother by putting up lights before we came home. Then last night, we look outside and what do we see? LIGHTS! It's not a lot of lights, but this is the first time ever we've had lights, so I was like a little kid...really excited! 

BEFORE

AFTER

 

What a Tumultuos, Yet Exciting Weekend!

So this Friday, I graduated. About 16 family members came into town for it, which I am thankful for. Unfortunately, a snow storm was rapidly approaching during the ceremony. By the time we went over to my brother’s house and started eating lunch, it had started snowing. An hour later, about 3 or so inches had fallen. We quickly ate lunch, cut and ate the cake, and packed up…thinking that we’d be able to leave. After all that was done, it was about 2 hours after the snow had started and there was an accumulation of about 5 or 6! Half of us, including me and my mom, did not think it was a good idea to leave. Unfortunately, I have some family members that were adamant on leaving that afternoon, so after a family meeting we decided we would all leave. We got on the road at 6pm.

BAD IDEA. Half the family was heading south on I-81 to Nashville and the other half was going North to Northern Virginia.  Those who made it onto 81 only went as far as about 10 miles in 3 hours before getting STUCK, because of traffic and terrible weather conditions. Three of them going to Northern VA (including my grandmother) got stuck at a gas station 10 miles from the VT exit and had to spend the night there. Another car (with 5 people including a 10 month old baby) got on 81, too, but were not able to move at ALL after several hours…so they just spent the night in their car. A van carrying 8 people (including 4 kids) were going south and weren’t able to go further than probably 20 miles also ended up spending the night in their vehicle. As for me and Semeon (we also had our aunt and her mom in the car), it took us an hour to get to Christiansburg. We stopped to take ice off of our windshield wipers and it basically crumbled in our hands. Lucky for my parents, who were ahead of us, hadn’t gotten on 81 yet, so we called them and told them our problem and they turned around and came to us.  Otherwise, they would have kept on going and gotten stuck on the road, too.  So 7 of us ended up coming back to Semeon’s place for the night. I felt so bad for the rest of the family that had to sleep in their cars. Luckily, everyone was able to get back on the road and get back home eventually. It took the ones going to Nashville a total of 24 hours from the time they started at Blacksburg (6pm).  The ones going to NoVa, took about 20 hours. Thankfully, everyone was safe, healthy and back at home. Phew.

As much as I really enjoyed being snowed in with the family for a couple days, it was now time for me to go home. Me, my bro, and my parents made it back home last night at 8pm. It took us the normal amount of time of about 6 hours to get in. Once we hit the Tennessee border, there was barely any snow, and then about 30 miles in, there was not a drop of snow! I kinda started to miss it…but not really. Lol This morning I woke up and opened all the windows in the house and it was so bright, sunny and clear outside! Although, I would’ve liked it to be warm, I like that it was still cold seeing as we’re not gonna have a white Christmas here.

Last night, I slept well, woke up this morning well-rested and worry-free, worked out, ate a yummy breakfast, and an even yummier lunch of Ethiopian food, which I ate way too much of. I’ve been trying to get back to my normal eating/workout habits, especially after we were cooped up in the house for the weekend eating ALL carbs basically. Lol But all that gets thrown out of the window when there’s Ethiopian food in front of me. Plus, it’s the holiday season, so I know I’ll be eating lots of yummy food. I’ll just keep my workouts goin! Hehe

Overall, this was one weekend I’d never forget. Here are a couple pics from this weekend’s snow storm in Blacksburg:

We got ~15in. of snow, but you can't tell by the spot we're standing at.

Amazing...especially in person.

Coincidental Convo

Last night I went downtown with a few friends for a couple drinks. It was nice and chill, nothing too extravagant...I was home by 1:30. I met a couple people, but the most interesting was a guy named Daniel who's a faculty member in the Philosophy department. Never met anyone in that field. Well, we ended up talking for about a good half hour, and I really enjoyed it as I like to hear peoples' viewpoints. During our whole conversation he made some interesting points, claims, and comments. I wish I had a pen and pad to jot down some stuff so I could think about it later, but unfortunately I had to rely on my on brain. Womp womp. lol I asked him how he would define philosophy, and from what I remember, he said it's the study of problems with knowledge, reality, reason, etc. In his field there is never a right or wrong solution or a "correct path" towards solving anything, as most things are never necessarily solved, and people have to be content with that in order to study philosophy. I have always had the need for concrete answers to things, but lately I don't really feel that as much, so I kinda understood. The coolest part was that he described his job as "doing a never-ending crossword puzzle." How cool is that?

A little bit further into the conversation, my ear picked up a word: infinite. A light bulb turned on in my head and I started asking him his thoughts on the concept of infinity. He said A LOT on the topic, which bothers me now because I can't remember a lot of it. The two main things I remember, though, are: the fact that infinity is mostly problematic if you choose to make it problematic, as it is not really an issue in the daily occurrences of life. And finally the last thing he said: we are finite beings with finite skills, but with infinite possibilities. PONDER THAT!

I'm off to do a workout with my cousin and show her the ropes on how to get a beach bod! lol

Then I have my last day of work at ABP, and my enormous family is coming into town! YES!

One Step Towards Self-Discovery

I don't talk about it often as I never saw the need to bring up something that was mentioned often in my life either straight up to my face or in passing. Most of all it hurt, so why bring it up unnecessarily?

What bothered me as a youth may not be a big deal to some but it is something that is becoming an epidemic in this country and probably causing the same pain to many as it did me. What I'm talking about is the weight issues I had  growing up. I recently realized that it has played a significant role in who I am today.

As a kid I was happy, very obedient, and rarely caused trouble. As a teen, I somehow sailed through without giving my parents any teen drama, as most teens do. I guess I was the exception. I was the quiet one at school. I was constantly told I was "too nice." That used to bother me - how is that possible?  How is that a problem? I was just being myself. I may have always tried to make people happy but, I wouldn't necessarily be a doormat. I was being ME. I was confused as to why people saw it as an issue.

Throughout the years I would really mull over it. I even tried being "mean" for a while. Yeahh...that didn't work because that wasn't ME. Even now, I try to be nice and make people happy, I guess, but not as much as before. I recently started asking myself why I'm like this. Yes, it's part of my personality. And maybe it runs in my genes, too? I mean both my parents were shy, calm, nice kids. And yes, my brother and I had good parents that taught us to have always have good manners, respect and concern for others. But looking back I realize I may have taken it to the extreme. Why was I like that?

It goes back to what always bothered me, yet I never spoke about. My weight. I may not have showed it and I didn't really accept the fact, but I was at times quite unhappy with myself, and hid behind a happy face. And this goes as early as 2nd grade or so. My unhappiness exasperated with a significant amount of teasing from kids, I believe really took a toll on my self-confidence and self-esteem. This made my shyness even worse. It made my quietness even worse. But I guess really quick, I figured out that if I'm really nice to people and made them happy, then they wouldn't even think to make fun of me. Or maybe I wouldn't get picked last for team games in recess. Or people would be excited to sit next to me at lunch. It worked well for the most part, and since being nice to people came so easily to me, I continued practicing my new-found coping mechanism. Thank God for my parents' sake, I didn't go the other direction and turn out into a bad kid or rebel or anything as a way of dealing with all this.

I am not complaining about any of this - just reflecting. What happened in the past doesn't define or control who I am, but it has contributed to who I am now. As I've grown, matured, learned, and changed, I started to realize that it was still a big part of me. Only in the past year, more so in the past few months, have I started to let go of that feeling. It's amazing how much of our childhood we hold on to...without even realizing it! No longer am I that diffident, insecure, self-conscious kid I used to be. No longer am I that kid that had such a lack of self-confidence that I didn't talk for two years at school. No longer am I that kid whom the "nice kids" would protect because they felt bad for me. No longer am I the girl who dropped out of gymnastics at age 6 because I was too scared to try and be judged by others. No longer am I the kid who got called a "gorilla" by a boy in 5th grade. YES, I still have plenty of insecurities, but don't we all? The ones I've always had are still there but have lessened tremendously and I'm sure I've acquired new ones that come with just experiencing life. I'll tell ya, one good thing about getting older, though, is the fact that self-confidence comes with the territory...oh and also the "I Don't Give a Damn What People Think" attitude. Slowly but surely we'll all get there...

As agonizing it is, I've chosen to look at this complicated maze of self-discovery as a positive experience. No one else can experience my journey but ME, and I am confident that one day, with many reflections such as this, I will make it to the end...to the end of infinity.  ;-)

"Self is not something one finds, it is something one creates."  ~Thomas Szasz

A New Beginning

This is the first time I've used a blog in about 5 years. My first one was left unused for so long, that I forgot what my password was so I decided to start a new one. Plus, the ME from five years ago is wayyy different than the ME right now, so why not start all over?

I'm excited to have a blog (thanks for the nagging, Heather! lol jk!) and look forward to updating it often.

Welcome.