CHANGE

"People don't change." Right?

Don't think so. Saying people don't change is the same as saying people can't learn. When you learn something new, it changes you. It changes what you know, how you think, and and how you approach things. This is a change right?

 

We are always changing; everyday we change. However, we always stay the same. We always generally stay the same in the way we think and process information, but as we grow and experience new things daily, how we interpret things changes. Everyday adds a new layer to our "same" self.

Change can also be looked at in terms of insight/learning vs. bettering/"fixing" oneself. What I said above mostly has to do with the former. The latter - modifying one's self - has to do with the adage, "People CAN'T change."

Really? I think that's a dangerous way of thinking. We all have our personalities that we've had since birth, but believing we can't change basically encourages us to accept our weaknesses and faults.

Some think that people absolutely can't change. I don't mean breaking someone of a bad habit, which is generally always possible. But people are talking about someone fundamentally changing the way they think and act...they believe it's impossible. If you are an addict, you will always be an addict. If you're a racist, you will always be a racist. Etc. You can just control your actions and adapt to what you want to be. Is this true?
 

First, what is change? What does it mean when you change? I think it means that we become different in some way...we make a transformation on some scale. Change requires us to be out of our comfort zone. Change can be for better or for worse. Change is usually uncomfortable because it disturbs our control over outcomes as we're used to. In the end, we can make changes to ourselves, but fundamentally - we are who we are.
 

Technically, I know it's impossible for people to completely change, because that requires the person to be destroyed. People can change aspects of themselves, but most people don't. You have to WANT to change, but most people don't want to, or are too fearful to do so. Also, I think our society has made it easy to put blame on other things (government, race, sex, religion, fate, etc.) for our problems instead of taking responsibility. Most people don't like change of any sort and like to stay in their comfort zone, so why would they change themselves?
 

THEN, there's the other common saying: "You can't change people." I always have believed this statement to be true, although it can be upsetting...especially when you really want to change a loved one for the better and you can't. The only thing we can do for others is influence, motivate, and guide change. The rest is up to them. Or we can just accept them for what they are. Lately, I keep having to remind myself this with certain personal situations in order to prevent myself from getting disappointed.
 

This whole thing is complicated, and all of this popped in my head today because I was thinking of personal things dealing with change, but also I saw something that said, "Technology changes; humans don't." That quote got all my thoughts brewing...and this was just a tidbit of what came out. There's still plenty more swirling around in my head, so I'm surprised it didn't come out all confusing, and if it did...well, that's how my brain works. :-)

Anyway you look at it...change is inevitable, change is constant, and change is here to stay.

Right? :-)